Supporting someone with bipolar

If you’re supporting someone who lives with bipolar, you’re a crucial part of their support network.

Whether you’re a partner, sibling, child or parent of someone living with bipolar – or you’re a friend, colleague, carer or neighbour – evidence shows that your support really does make a difference.  

A strong support network can help to improve their recovery, build their resilience and increase their ability to have healthy relationships in the future.

3 key things you can do

1. Understand bipolar better

The more you understand the symptoms, triggers, treatments and challenges of living with bipolar, the more compassion you’ll have and the easier you’ll find it to stay calm during the challenging times. Why not:

• watch our eLearning course
• learn the facts
• read the stories

2. See the individual not the condition

When it comes to supporting someone with a long-term condition, there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to do things. One option is to talk things through with them. Or you can simply learn as you go – always reminding yourself that you’re doing your best.

3. Adapt your support role to their changing needs

The support someone living with bipolar needs can change significantly over time, depending on different factors.

Someone’s needs are likely to be more intense when they are:

• going through a diagnosis journey – this can be a confusing time, especially if they haven’t been prescribed the right bipolar medication yet
• first diagnosed – it may take them time to accept a diagnosis, or they may be grieving for the life they thought they’d have
• worrying a lot – some people with bipolar feel anxious about becoming unwell again, or about the stigma of living with a mental illness
• in hospital or recovering from an episode – this is when most people with bipolar need more support, both emotionally and with practical things
• going through a challenging time – if they’re dealing with a bereavement or lots of big life changes at the same time, for example

When someone’s mood is stable, it’s likely they’ll need much less of your time and energy.

But it’s worth remembering that bipolar is a lifelong condition and that it’s common for people living with the condition to experience symptoms.

The key to staying well is for them to notice the ‘mild’ symptoms so they can take action to prevent the ‘severe’ symptoms that disrupt their daily life.

5 things to remember when you’re supporting someone with bipolar

1. Try and stay positive and remember that living with bipolar is an ongoing learning process, both for someone with a diagnosis as well as for their loved ones.
2. Remember that it’s okay to listen without offering solutions. Your only job is to be a partner/friend/brother/daughter/colleague, not a clinician or an expert.
3. Check in regularly even if your loved one doesn’t seem to be struggling – a quick, hug, call or text can make a  real difference if they’re having a difficult day.
4. Ensure that boundaries are in place by talking to your loved one about their expectations compared to your own needs and other responsibilities. Know that, as and when you need to, it’s okay to say no, take a break and get support for yourself.
5. If your loved one’s behaviour is challenging, remember that some behaviours may be a result of the bipolar and not the person themselves. When they’re unwell, people with bipolar can sometimes say and do things they don’t mean – or even remember. Try not to take things personally. However, it’s essential to ensure that your own needs are also being met. Share how you’re feeling with someone you trust, and ask your GP to refer you for some therapy if you need to.

12 practical ways how you might support someone with bipolar

1. Be their emergency contact so they can contact you if they become unwell.
2. Ensure they get urgent help if they’re in crisis by calling 999 – or you can find more options here
3. Share Bipolar UK’s resources to help them track their mood and notice if their mood is changing.
4. Fill out an Advance Choice Document together so that their wishes will be listened to if they become unwell.
5. Drive them to their healthcare appointments.
6. Go with them to appointments and support group meetings if they would like you to be there.
7. Pick up their prescriptions and medication.
8. Remind them to take their medication as prescribed – setting up a phone reminder or buying a pill box with the days of the week may be helpful.
9. Encourage them to stick to routines around sleep, activity and eating patterns to help reduce the risk of an episode.
10. Help them to reduce or avoid alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and recreational drugs such as cannabis, which can interfere with sleep and how the body uses medication.
11. Batch cook for their freezer so they can heat up something easily if they’re not eating well.
12. Be their exercise buddy by walking in nature, going for a swim or going to the gym with them.