'Why I’m leaving a legacy in my will for Bipolar UK’

  • Written by Simon Kitchen
  • Posted: 22 September 2025

Content Warning: this article mentions suicide

I never met my brother-in-law, Kevin. He had died before I met my wife.

Kevin had an interesting life – he struggled at school but landed a position on Jamie Oliver’s TV series ‘Fifteen’.

Kevin loved cooking and became a talented chef who enjoyed experimenting with new ingredients, tastes and flavours. Some worked out better than others.

One Christmas my wife tells me she was overeager and smothered her entire dinner in an Avant Garde green ‘jus’ he had made which proved revolting and made the whole meal inedible.

Challenging times

Kevin sadly had to give up cooking after finding that the heat of the kitchen was damaging his already vulnerable hearing. He was retraining and heading to university in Lancaster when he had a severe manic episode.

I’ve been told that he sought help, and that he was sectioned, pinned down by multiple staff. He also had his phone confiscated. This troubled experience left an acute scar in Kevin’s psyche.

Heart-breaking news

Soon after the hospitalisation, Kevin went missing. His connection with ‘Fifteen’ and friendship with Jamie Oliver meant his disappearance attracted national news coverage and a local manhunt. Tragically he was found several months later, having taken his own life.

Kevin’s loss left a huge hole in my family and a lot of soul searching. My wife had had a difficult relationship with her brother, and it was only after he died that she found out he had been living with bipolar.

Stigma and diagnostic despair meant that Kevin had never felt confident enough to open up about his diagnosis.

The family therefore never found the coping strategies to build strong relationships – which are so important for people living with the condition.

The impact of suicide

After her brother’s death, my wife had to take several months off work and undertook hours of volunteering to try to come to terms with what had happened.

Each suicide costs society an average of £1.6 million, with most of that cost borne by the friends and families of the person who died in lost employment and grief.

Leaving a gift in our will

While I never got to meet Kevin, it’s an honour to leave a small legacy in his memory in our will to Bipolar UK. It’s the money we would have left to him if he had still been alive.

The money will go on peer support services that could have helped Kevin feel less alone with his diagnosis.

Importantly Bipolar UK’s services also welcome family and friends. So, if there is a sister out there like Naomi, who would like to learn how to support their brother with bipolar, they can come along and be with like-minded people.

We can’t bring Kevin back but by leaving a legacy we hope that other families won’t have to go through such a terrible tragedy like ours did.