April Unscripted: New year, same me

April Unscripted – Issue #2 (January 2026)

Hello wonders,

Happy New Year!

New year, same me!

I’ve thought long and hard about what to say which wouldn’t turn into one cliché after another but still resembled some sort of inspiration. Let’s see how it goes…

Well, we’re two weeks into 2026… how we all doing? How are we feeling post-festivities? Anyone have any new year’s resolutions? Any in’s and out’s for 2026? I’m going to jet ski – it’s been on my new year’s list for nearly 10 years. Irrelevant but had to share.

I’ve kick started the year with no plans and two new foster kittens. This is in fact the first year, for as long as I can remember, where there’s nothing planned… both work and social life. It’s equal measures of terrifying and liberating.

As a result, I was careful with new year’s resolutions this year (or goals, or to dos, however you want to describe them). I think it’s fairly normal to promise yourself the world and then “let yourself down” by February.

In previous year’s I’ve put regimens in place that never took into account how my work schedule can be sometimes or allow for socialising or spontaneity. Even bipolar episodes, I had two last year (a manic and a depressive), just to keep me on my toes.

Perhaps I should be exclaiming “no episodes in 2026!”, but that’s a hell of a lot of pressure to put on a situation and condition I’ll never fully have control over. My bipolar can be triggered by anything is what I’ve learnt.

Even when everything is “perfect” on paper, that pesky bipolar will slap me on the face, because… all together now… it’s a chemical imbalance! For those living with bipolar I’m aware that episodes or traits can manifest and be triggered in a multitude of ways. My last two episodes were due to my neurotransmitters – my chemical messengers went on strike, or something. Annoyingly my depressed episode was during summer.

I was working from my sofa one afternoon and the switch turned off, I literally placed the laptop on the table and slowly went horizontal on the sofa and that was it. Quicksand. My best friend knew I simply didn’t want to see a soul. I received a text from them saying to open the door and I was fuming.

I could barely string a sentence together. I didn’t even want to see them. But, when I opened the door, no human stood in front of me, a pile of protein bars did instead…

“I know you won’t be hungry but at least eat one of these.”

My amazing support network kicked into gear (as always) and understood exactly what I needed. I am always eternally grateful.

This time round, a massive part of getting myself out of that episode quicker than other times was due to fostering kittens.

Stick with me. Many people applaud me for doing such a “selfless” thing, but between you and I… it’s kinda selfish. On average, I foster each litter for about 8 weeks and then they’re ready for adoption, when I bid them farewell and sob every time. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. But in an unusual turn of events, it’s worked wonders on my anxious attachment style, don’t ask me to elaborate, I don’t fully understand how or why myself. All I know is it just has.

Even more than that, these tiny furr-balls need me, something needs me for a change, rather than feeling like everyone else is wrapping me up in cotton wool. They are a reason to get out of bed because they need feeding and poop needs scooping!

That aside, and after some careful consideration over the last couple of weeks, I’ve decided…

My main aim for 2026 is to be direct and to acknowledge that being direct is not being confrontational

More often than not, I’d rather not cause a fuss or play it cool or not push back on something I don’t agree with because it feels like it’s more hassle than it’s worth, but I’ve learnt that ultimately its more damaging to my mind than I ever realised. In fact, even in these two weeks I’ve already noticed a considerable difference and, to my utter shock, my anxiety has been wildly lessened.

I think when you’re living with bipolar it’s sometimes hard to differentiate thoughts and feelings, and as a result you possibly look to others to help shape your opinions. But not this year! The plan is to sit with the uncomfortableness, uncertainty, anger, and/or anxiety and self-regulate without the need of outside help (where possible), then respond calmly and directly.

So, if there was a takeaway from this month’s column, yes, it would be to foster kittens. It has helped my mental health in ways I never knew possible.

And, of course, to attempt to be direct, both with yourself and with others.

Okay, I’m off to snuggle my kittens… See you next month!

Lots of love,

April x