Ellie gives some hints and tips that should add to your ideas on how to enjoy Valentine's Day whilst we are still in lockdown.

Dating with bipolar

I view Valentine’s Day as a huge money-making scheme that companies are profiting from and this negative view, I have is probably more to do with the fact that I have spent every Valentine’s Day on my own. Just writing that sounds sad! I am however someone who has become completely accustomed to flying solo, being independent and moreover enjoying my own company that I feel I would most likely struggle to be in a relationship. A big part of me enjoys being single and the freedom it gives me as every day shapes up to be a me, myself, and I party. However, that is not to say that I do not think about being in a happy relationship with all the bells and whistles. I find my issue is that I just hold very high standards that no one has managed to live up to. Yet, more importantly I am also undecided whether I want to date men or women or both or maybe neither preferring instead the label of ‘lonely old spinster’ at the ripe old age of 27!

I feel when it comes to my relationships and love life it would be foolish to ignore the role my bipolar plays. Looking back on my very brief past relationships there is a distinct pattern that I fall into and that is becoming smitten and falling head over heels after the first couple of dates. This for the person involved can be a tad too much too soon; in my head I have already planned the wedding! I find this intensity that I bring to a relationship often is my downfall, and I am at times too much even for myself. That is bipolar for you I can be all in, passionate, loving and madly in love and then for some reason it is as if this switch inside has been flipped and I am over it and have lost interest. For the most part I find it is my inability to communicate and be honest with how I am truly feeling that is the real nail in the coffin for most of my relationships.

Bisexuality and bipolar

Now if I did not feel being bipolar was hard enough at times, I am also juggling with the reality that I am bisexual. For the longest time, I can remember I was attracted to women but always thought it wrong and unnatural so nurtured the other side of me that liked men. I find that it is my faith that is in part preventing me from really exploring the side of me that is attracted to women. I find that it is this reserve that I have which I believe women can smell a mile away. Sometimes I question whether it is in part my bipolar that gives me this liking for both men and women or whether it is maybe more genetic.

Lastly, if you want to understand and see how relationships and bipolar work, then I implore you to go watch Modern Love Episode 3 on Amazon Prime as Anne Hathaway does a stupendous job at playing Lexi who has bipolar. This episode is something that I tend to signpost people towards who want or are thinking of dating me as I really can be all that you see in the episode and more. I really should come with instructions and a warning sign flashing over my head when people meet me. This is because if you were to date me you would be getting much more than you bargained for and that is putting it lightly, the relationship will most certainly be a rollercoaster of a ride!

That being said I have five tips for this year’s Valentine’s Day, but these are the things that I would want if I was in a relationship. So here are my tips for making Valentine’s Day special for those that are living with their loved one in lockdown:

  • Find that special card that is personal to your loved one as this is your opportunity to put down in words how they make your world spin.
  • Making breakfast in bed is a perfect way to earn brownie points that can be redeemed later.
  • Flowers although not essential is a nice touch, be original red roses are predictable so either go for their favourite flowers or a more unusual bunch.
  • A box of chocolates on the other hand is essential.
  • Ending the evening with a nice meal is always a winner- this does not have to be something you have slaved over; it can be an easy meal deal from a supermarket, or it can be a takeaway from your favourite restaurant.

I realise some of these tips are not possible for some couples with the current restrictions so with tips 1,3 & 4 I would suggest sending these in advance in the post, so they arrive on the special day. I would also on top of these points give your loved one a text and a call on the day just to say that you are thinking of them.